Father’s Day is a day to honor all of the incredible contributions fathers have made to their children’s lives. And while this day for many is a day of family and celebration, it can be a difficult time for those who have conflict with their own father or father figures in their lives. Father’s Day can trigger many feelings of loneliness, isolation, and even abandonment around this time. With Father’s Day around the corner, it is important to know that it is OK to honor your feelings, and that you are not alone.
For some survivors, part of the healing journey and recovery process means acknowledging their caregivers were directly involved in their abuse, knew about the abuse and did nothing, or simply weren’t there as you needed them to be following disclosure. As a result, many survivors experience feelings of betrayal, abandonment, and anger — and feelings of loss and sadness over what their lives could have been like had they been protected from the lasting trauma of abuse. Like many people, survivors may have a hard time with these feelings because they are uncomfortable – especially on a day where it seems like everyone else is celebrating maternal and familial love. Begin by acknowledging and accepting your feelings. They are valid. Take a deep breath, remember you did nothing wrong, and care for yourself like you would a loved one.
If Father’s Day is hard for you, remember that you are not alone in your feelings or experiences. Take the opportunity to be kind to yourself and practice self-care. We’ve suggested some tips and ideas below:
- Unplug
- Get off social media for the day – step away from your news feed and the barrage of photos that may make you feel triggered or lonely; instead, do something to take care of yourself – go to the park, take a walk, go to the beach, or try a new recipe
- Honor that this day may be hard for you
- Tell yourself “it’s ok” that this day may be difficult and different for you than from others
- Do for you
- Make plans for yourself, have a day filled with activities that you want to participate in, or spend time with people of your choosing
- Remind yourself that you are not alone
- Many people are impacted by Father’s Day, and may be disconnected from or without a maternal figure
- You have friends and family who love and care about you
- Journal
- Spend time writing or journaling your thoughts and feelings; this can be a good way to honor and then release any negative emotions or energies
Wishing you all peace and healing this Father’s Day and beyond!
– Lauren’s Kids
