Helping Your Child Recover From Trauma

HELPING YOUR CHILD'S RECOVERY PROCESS

Children can recover from sexual assault. Love, support, understanding and counseling contribute to your child’s full recovery. Although the sexual abuse will cause lifelong changes, the changes are not always for the worse. Many survivors say, in time, that the assault actually made them stronger and better able to assert their right to safety and personal well-being. This is often true for the survivor’s family and other loved ones too. Watch the video below to learn more about child predators and their grooming and pedophile tactics.

Here are some ways you can help your child’s recovery process:

Regain trust – Your child’s trust has been violated, and this is especially true if the abuser was a family member. You can help your child regain trust by listening without judgment, developing a safety plan together and allowing a self-paced recovery. Saying things like, “Your safety is very important to me,” and “I will never knowingly leave you alone with your abuser again” builds trust, as long as you keep your word.
Learn about the impact that sexual assault can have on your child – Finding out your child has been sexually abused is, in most cases, stressful for the whole family. You may feel guilty, angry and numb, or have difficulty accepting the news or believing it is true. Your child is also dealing with the aftermath of disclosure. Some of your child’s behaviors may be difficult for you to manage, especially when you are experiencing stress. Knowing what behaviors to expect, learning relevant and necessary parenting strategies and understanding that such behavior is a normal reaction to trauma can give provide perspective and the skills to cope.
Talk about the abuse – Be a good listener and do not judge, blame or argue with your child as thoughts and feelings about the abuse are expressed. When you feel overwhelmed by what your child is disclosing it is all right to set limits. Say, “Let’s talk for five more minutes and then let’s read a book together,” to limit the time spent listening; or say “Let’s go for a walk while we talk,” to change the setting of the conversation. Either technique can help you listen when it is hard for you to do.
Use appropriate touch – Teach your child the difference between safe and unsafe touch. State that it is never okay for anyone (child, teenager or adult) to have sexual contact with a child. Children must learn it is not okay for anyone to touch their private parts nor it is okay for adults to ask children to touch their own or another adult’s private parts. If someone makes or threat or tries to force sexual contact, children should tell a trusted adult who would believe them and protect them.
Teach skills that help the child to say “no” – Children need to learn skills to say “no” to inappropriate sexual advances, and to do so with conviction. Most children are taught to respect and obey authority figures and thus are vulnerable to threats and coercion. After a sexual assault, caregivers must encourage the child to trust authority figures again while also teaching that people in authority are sometimes untrustworthy. Your child’s understanding of appropriate touch can help with this challenge.

HELPING YOUR CHILD'S RECOVERY PROCESS

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